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Improve 1% Per Week

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On Wednesdays I post a practical wisdom thought or suggestion on Marriage, Parenting, or Life. Literally, every major accomplishment happens “one” at a time.  No individual or relationship ever got better all at once.  Improvement happens one day at a time, one compliment at a time, one minute of exercise at a time, one hug at a time, one phone call at a time, one action at a time, one kiss at a time, etc.

Most of us want immediate success in all areas of life but, of course, that is not realistic.  In counseling, I often suggest to individuals, couples, parents, and families, that a reasonable goal is one percent improvement per week or four percent per month.  Certainly, one percent per week doesn’t sound like much but at the end of a year that is 50% improvement as a person, spouse, parent, friend, etc.

TODAY:  Take “one” action that can begin the process of improving yourself as a Christian person.  In addition, take “one” action or say “one” sentence that will improve a relationship, whether a friendship, marriage, parent-child connection, co-worker association, etc.

Please be sure to “Like” and “Share” when you visit my professional Facebook page so others may receive the post.  If you enjoyed reading this post you may enjoy reading other posts found on the website, www.DrRandallSchroeder.com, under “Categories.” Thank you!

YOUTUBE VIDEOS:  My YouTube channel is “Pastor Dr Randy.”  I am excited to share that I will begin answering questions about Marriage, Parenting, and Life issues such as depression, anxiety, OCD, bereavement, etc., through YouTube videos.  I encourage you to send your questions to info@DrRandallSchroeder.com.  Of course, you will remain anonymous.

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Questions Answered on YouTube

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I am excited to share that I will begin answering questions about Marriage, Parenting, and Life issues such as depression, anxiety, OCD, bereavement, etc., through YouTube videos.  Each video will be approximately 2 to 3 minutes in length. My YouTube channel is “Pastor Dr Randy.”  To create my own personal You Tube channel I had to have a space between “Pastor” and “Dr” as well as between “Dr” and “Randy.”  Whenever you find a video helpful or interesting, will you please “Like” it?

I have now posted two YouTube videos.  The first video is an “Introduction” and the second video is “The Important Third Marriage Commitment.”  Shown below are the YouTube videos and a radio interview on STAR 88.3.

INTRODUCTION

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sCLiXIrqaAY

THE IMPORTANT THIRD MARRIAGE COMMITMENT

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xMcE8CrC8o0&t=8s

INTERVIEW ON STAR 88.3 RADIO IN FORT WAYNE: My Future Marriage Book

http://star883.com/news/randy-schroeder-the-platinum-marriage

I encourage you to send your questions to info@DrRandallSchroeder.com.  Of course, you will remain anonymous.  Please also subscribe on my website, www.DrRandallSchroeder.com.

May God richly bless your life and relationships!

Randall A. Schroeder, Ph.D., M.Div., M.Ed.

Schroeder Counseling & Consulting, Inc.

www.DrRandallSchroeder.com

4850 East Main Street

Carmel, IN 46033

260-348-8777

Questions Answered On YouTube

I am excited to share that I will begin answering questions about Marriage, Parenting, and Life issues such as depression, anxiety, OCD, bereavement, etc., through YouTube videos.  Each video will be approximately 2 to 3 minutes in length. I already posted an “Introductory” video.  My second video will be posted this Thursday afternoon.  When you find a video somewhat helpful, will you please “Like” it?  My YouTube channel is “Pastor Dr Randy.”

I encourage you to send your questions to info@DrRandallSchroeder.com.  Of course, you will remain anonymous.  Please also subscribe on my website, www.DrRandallSchroeder.com.  May God richly bless your life and relationships!

 

 

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Are You Having Fun With Your Spouse or Child?

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On Wednesdays I post a practical wisdom thought or suggestion on Marriage, Parenting, or Life. My definition of fun is doing an enjoyable activity together with your spouse or child.  Fun is not doing a responsibility with your spouse or child.  Certainly, family fun times are also very important but there needs to be a balance with one-on-one time and that is usually what is absent in too many family relationships.

Whether husband-wife or parent-child, satisfying, rewarding relationships have a lot of one-on-one fun times!  You often bond the most when the enjoyable activity is without others around.  Having just one-on-one fun with your spouse or child creates happiness for both of you and strengthens your emotional connection.

TODAY:  Please ask your spouse or child what meaningful activity would be fun to do both inside the home and outside the home. 

Please be sure to “Like” and “Share” when you visit my professional Facebook page so others may receive the post.  If you enjoyed reading this post you may enjoy reading other posts found on the website, www.DrRandallSchroeder.com, under “Categories.” Thank you!

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Touch Is Foundational For Our Well-being 

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On Wednesdays I post a practical wisdom thought or suggestion on Marriage, Parenting, or Life. Babies denied skin-to-skin stimulation usually struggle with physical, mental, and emotional developmental issues.  Neglected babies often “fail to thrive” due to touch deprivation.  The good news is that through emotional support and physical touch on a daily basis, the negatives for those babies can be reversed resulting in a happy, successful life.

So science proves that meaningful touch is essential for every child but it is equally important in marriage. Spouses and parents must never underestimate the Power of Physical Touch.  One of the very best ways to stay connected in marriage and parenting is through skin-to-skin contact. Daily, strive to be a wholesome person, spouse, and/or parent by giving and receiving touch with those you love.

TODAY:  Keep track of how many times along with the various ways you touch your spouse, and if you are a parent, your child. 

Please be sure to “Like” and “Share” when you visit my professional Facebook page so others may receive the post.  If you enjoyed reading this post you may enjoy reading other posts found on the website, www.DrRandallSchroeder.com, under “Categories.” Thank you!

Your Marital Ideas May Not Be The Truth

On Wednesdays I post a practical wisdom thought or suggestion on Marriage, Parenting, or Life. Mistakenly, most couples think what creates a happy marriage is loving each other but that is simply only a minor start.  The reason:  not only is loving each other usually defined differently by both spouses, often one spouse’s idea of loving each other is a really false perspective that ends up damaging the relationship.

Years ago I counseled a couple and the wife thought it was okay to scream, yell, and call names because she observed her parents exhibiting those behaviors and her parents were still married.  When I asked for a description of the relationship, the husband chimed in with “they strongly resent each other, do almost nothing together, and sleep in separate bedrooms.”  How to have a healthy disagreement discussion was actually foreign to the wife’s way of thinking because her opinion was not a healthy marital axiom.

The legendary football coach Vince Lombardi said, “Practice does not make perfect.  Only perfect practice makes perfect.”  Likewise, loving each other does not make a satisfying marriage.  Only loving each other with beneficial marital words and behaviors make a gratifying marriage.

TODAY:  Independently, I encourage you and your spouse to make a list of your top ten marital truths that you “think” creates a happy marriage.  Then, together discuss if those ideas are strong marital truisms or merely unhealthy opinions. (If you have children, I urge you to do the same exercise as parents.)

Please be sure to “Like” and “Share” when you visit my professional Facebook page so others may receive the post.  If you enjoyed reading this post you may enjoy reading other posts found on the website, www.DrRandallSchroeder.com, under “Categories.” Thank you!

Good Givers Are Often Good Spouses

On Wednesdays I post a practical wisdom thought or suggestion on Marriage, Parenting, or Life. An attitude of giving by both spouses is what permeates a happy, satisfying marriage.  Developing the skill of giving in all facets of your marriage requires a labor of love on a daily basis.  The flipside to giving is receiving and both spouses also need to receive in order to have a gratifying marriage.

A marriage will rarely be completely fulfilling if either spouse is only capable of giving but not able to receive or if either spouse refuses to give but only wants to receive.  As with most areas of life and relationships, the essential key is balance where both spouses mutually give and receive.

TODAY:  Sit down with your spouse and share marital areas where you want your spouse to give more as well as those marital aspects where you wish your spouse would be more open to receiving from you. 

Please be sure to “Like” and “Share” when you visit my professional Facebook page so others may receive the post.  If you enjoyed reading this post you may enjoy reading other posts found on the website, www.DrRandallSchroeder.com, under “Categories.” Thank you!

 

 

More Of; Less Of; Just The Right Amount

On Wednesdays I post a practical wisdom thought or suggestion on Marriage, Parenting, or Life. Like all couples and parents, you continually want to strengthen your marriage bond and parent-child relationship.  Often, in marriage and family counseling, I will ask each individual to answer three questions:  1) What do you  want to do more of? 2) What do you want to do less of? and 3) What are you doing just the right amount?

This simple exercise can really enhance your relationships.  By answering those three questions you will automatically propel your marriage or parent-child relationship in a positive direction.

TODAY:  Sit down with your spouse and share your responses to those three questions.  If you have a child, ask your child to answer those questions in order to better meet their needs. 

Please be sure to “Like” and “Share” when you visit my professional Facebook page so others may receive the post.  If you enjoyed reading this post you may enjoy reading other posts found on the website, www.DrRandallSchroeder.com, under “Categories.” Thank you!

NEVER Stare In The Past!

On Wednesdays I post a practical wisdom thought or suggestion on Marriage, Parenting, or Life. It is okay to GLANCE back BUT NEVER STARE in the PAST!  While driving, if you stare in your rear view mirror you will probably crash.  However, quickly glancing in your rear view mirror  to ensure no rear end collision makes sense.

When we fixate on the past we often experience regrets, guilt, and complacency which diminishes our joy and happiness in the present.  Frequently when “staring,” we also make numerous excuses about our circumstances today.  We blame, blame, blame, our parents, our teachers, the government, society, and even what happened to our family 75 to 150 years ago.

Such “past” excuse-thinking just produces one excuse after another and creates a lack of responsibility for one’s life today.  Unfortunately, too many individuals and groups in society are “staring in their rear view mirror” in order to blame the “past” on any or most of their problems today.

Staring in the past may also make us complacent about daily goals and future achievements.  We can become so content with past successes that we lose a healthy ambitious desire for personal growth or future accomplishments.

TODAY:  Say aloud, “I will never have a backward stare, instead, I will and I can live for today and the future!”

Please be sure to “Like” and “Share” when you visit my professional Facebook page so others may receive the post.  If you enjoyed reading this post you may enjoy reading other posts found on the website, www.DrRandallSchroeder.com, under “Categories.” Thank you!

An A.M. Important 5 Minutes

On Wednesdays I post a practical wisdom thought or suggestion on Marriage, Parenting, or Life. What happens for you and your family members during the first five wake-up minutes in the morning?  Frequently, the first five minutes set the tone for each family member within your home, and perhaps, even determines the outcome of their day.  On the positive side, during this critical “5,” family members may feel appreciated, encouraged, and connected.  On the negative side, a loved one may feel hurt, frustrated, and discouraged.

How can we make this “Essential 5 Minutes” a wonderful experience?  We need to avoid the “Cs”:  criticism, complaints, corrections, and condemnation.  This is also not a time to resolve a problem from the previous day.  In addition, avoid any accusatory questions.

Instead, we can wear a smile or at a minimum have a friendly facial expression. When speaking, project a soft, encouraging tone and share upbeat, positive messages with family members.

TODAY:  Make it a goal to have a positive approach with each family member every morning in order to provide them a great start to their day.

Please be sure to “Like” and “Share” when you visit my professional Facebook page so others may receive the post.  If you enjoyed reading this post you may enjoy reading other posts found on the website, www.DrRandallSchroeder.com, under “Categories.” Thank you!