10 Life Principles To Help With Holiday Stress

1.         Life is NOT fair.  Almost daily something unfair happens to us.  The holidays are no different so expect unfair things to occur during this holiday season.

 2.         Avoid either-or/good-or-bad thinking.  Today is not going to be a good day or a bad day.  Good things will happen and not so good things.  Likewise, this holiday season will have positive occurrences and not so positive happenings.

 3.         Money never brings happiness.  Understand that money, or the lack of it, will not determine your holiday happiness.  Memories and not material things is what you will remember from this Christmas.

 4.         Don’t expect perfection from life.  Perfection is the enemy of good.  Hope for a good Christmas not a perfect one. 

 5.         You can’t change family or friends.  This holiday season accept the fact that your family and friends will be the same as always so take them for who they are and go with the flow.

 6.         Avoid absolute thinking like “always” and “never.”  Thinking we have “always” done it this way or we “never” did that before during the holiday season will only create stress.  Openness and flexibility will lead to a happier holiday season. 

 7.         Don’t have binocular vision.  Avoid focusing on just negative occurrences with the holidays so they don’t become bigger than they really are.  Look at all the positives to have a more realistic outlook on the holidays. 

 8.         Avoid labeling people and experiences.  Others will have differing opinions and behaviors.  Nonetheless, you can still enjoy them and not let that diminish your holiday happiness. Focus on the good qualities of family and friends.

 9.         Think percentages in life.  Every day is somewhere between 90%(A-) to 60%(D-).  Daily, this holiday season will also have a range.  Expect this holiday season to average about a C+ to B-.  Anything more is very satisfying, anything less is then not too disappointing. 

 10.       Avoid mind-reading.  You can never know what another person is thinking.  Look at the facts not your feelings when assessing how family and friends are enjoying the holidays. 

 This Week:  Begin implementing one or two life principles to help with holiday stress. 

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12 Ideas to Help Handle Holiday Stress

1.         Spend time with God.   Set goals to read the Bible, pray, have Christmas devotions, and attend worship services

2.         Be realistic with your expectations.  Ask yourself, “Am I trying to have the perfect Christmas?” A good Christmas is still a good celebration. 

3.         Make time for the things you value.  Focus your time and energy on family closeness, church celebrations, and community activities. 

4.         Exercise is a great way to relieve holiday stress.  A simple, daily 10 minute walk will help fight off stress.

5.         Maintain a sense of humor.  Take a laugh break, share a joke or funny story with someone but do take time to laugh.

6.         Spread out the holiday season.  All festivities don’t have to be crammed between Thanksgiving and Christmas, perhaps have a January gathering.

7.         Put the holiday season into perspective.  How important will this holiday season be in 5 years?

8.         Don’t overschedule yourself.  Keep your “superwoman/superman” instincts in check. 

9.         Look at the holiday season one day at a time.  Worrying just wastes precious energy.  Instead, plan ahead but just focus on accomplishing 2 or 3 tasks each day.

10.        Say “no” without guilt.  Allow yourself the right to say “no” to the things that frustrate you and concentrate on people and activities you enjoy. 

11.        Ask for help when you need it.  Delegate responsibilities to other family members, hire a house-cleaning service, have a neighborhood youngster shovel your sidewalk and driveway, etc.

12.        Always look for the good or positive aspects when things don’t turn out exactly as you had hoped or planned.

This Week:  Begin implementing one or two ideas to handle holiday stress. 

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7 “Like” Questions To Strengthen Your Marriage

It is important to focus on what you like about your spouse and the good in your marriage.  In that regard, please share answers with your spouse to the following 7 “Like” Questions.

  1.  What internal qualities do you like most about your spouse?

  2. What do you like about your spouse’s verbal communication?

  3. What do you like about your spouse’s nonverbal communication?

  4. What do you like about how your spouse works with you on decision-making?

  5. What do you like about how your spouse handles household chores?

  6. What do you like about how your spouse manages household finances?

  7. What do you like most about your sexual intimacy interaction?

TODAY:  And every day focus on the good qualities in your spouse as well as positive aspects of your marriage.  

Please follow me on Facebook and “Like” and “Share” when you read a post that is beneficial so others may receive the post.  If you enjoyed reading this post you may enjoy reading other posts found on the website, www.DrRandySchroeder.com, under “PRACTICAL WISDOM for Marriage, Parenting, and Life.”

8 Connects To Thank Your Spouse

We all look forward to Thanksgiving Day and remembering how truly blessed we are in so many ways in this great nation.  Similarly, this Thanksgiving weekend initiate thankful words and actions for your spouse through 8 Special Connects.

  1. Verbal Connect. Express thankfulness to your spouse by initiating “I love you”; “I care so deeply about you”; “You are so special to me”; etc.

  2. Physical Connect. Surprise your spouse with a lengthy hug and meaningful kiss.

  3. Written Connect. Write a two or three sentence note expressing your love and thankfulness for your spouse.

  4. Time Connect. Spend 15 minutes giving your spouse undivided attention and look into their eyes.

  5. Compliment Connect. Praise your spouse with a compliment in front of others.

  6. Date Connect. Although the “Date Your Mate” may not happen this weekend, share with your spouse the day and time you would like to have a date.

  7. Dream Connect. Plan a getaway with your spouse for one night or if time and money allow for a longer period of time.

  8. Pray Connect. Hold hands and give thanks to almighty God for your marriage and the many blessings you have in life.


Please follow me on Facebook and “Like” and “Share” when you read a post that is beneficial so others may receive the post.  If you enjoyed reading this post you may enjoy reading other posts found on the website, www.DrRandallSchroeder.com, under “PRACTICAL WISDOM for Marriage, Parenting, and Life.”

7 Ways To Effectively Listen To Your Spouse

Being a gold medal listener to your spouse is one of the best ways to help your partner feel loved, valued, and important.

  1.  Begin with your EYES. Efficient listening always requires that you almost stare into your spouse’s eyes.

  2. PLAN TIME on a daily basis to attentively listen to your partner for even five minutes.

  3. Have NO DISTRACTIONS. The cell phone, tablet, newspaper, or other outside elements will be a block to active listening.

  4. ASK QUESTIONS. Asking back-to-back questions almost forces you to be a successful listener.

  5. AVOID the Cs – Don’t Correct, Criticize, Complain, or Condemn. This may be one of the biggest challenges to being a competent listener.  Having a “C Attitude” produces a focus on yourself rather than your partner.

  6. WATCH YOUR NON-VERBALS. Your tone of voice, facial expression, and body language will either build-up or break down your listening skills.

  7. WORK HARD AT BEING A CAPABLE LISTENER. Being a caring listener actually takes practice on a daily basis.

Please follow me on Facebook and “Like” and “Share” when you read a post that is beneficial so others may receive the post.  If you enjoyed reading this post you may enjoy reading other posts found on the website, www.DrRandallSchroeder.com, under “PRACTICAL WISDOM for Marriage, Parenting, and Life.”

In addition, I now have six marriage videos on my YouTube Channel, “Dr. Randall Schroeder.” Thank you!

7 Signs You Are A Healthy Spouse

On Wednesdays I post a practical wisdom thought or suggestion on Marriage, Parenting, or Life. No spouse is perfect but evaluating these 7 signs can make a positive difference in marital happiness.

  1. You are better in every area of your marriage than the day you got married. You have a strong desire to improve and grow both as a person and a spouse on a daily basis.

  2. You are a giver. You give compliments, physical affection, offer encouragement, and very simply, say and do things often that value your spouse.

  3. You are agreeable and cooperative. You are easy to get along with, meaning, you are flexible, go with the flow, and not a control fanatic with decisions.

  4. You don’t “Have To.” You avoid “Having To”: compulsively shop; gamble; excessively drink alcohol; demonstrate irrational anger; compulsively use technology; etc.

  5. You are a girlfriend/boyfriend to your spouse every day. You never take your spouse for granted by continually winning your partner’s heart through positive words and actions.

  6. You plan time with your spouse. You don’t let your time together happen by chance but you schedule time daily and weekly with your partner.

  7. You are an apologizer and forgiver. You are willingly to admit when you make a mistake as well as forgive when your spouse apologizes to you.

TODAY:  Discuss with your spouse these 7 signs to assess where both of you desire improvement. 

Please follow me on Facebook and “Like” and “Share” when you read a post that is beneficial so others may receive the post.  If you enjoyed reading this post you may enjoy reading other posts found on the website, www.DrRandallSchroeder.com, under “PRACTICAL WISDOM for Marriage, Parenting, and Life.”

In addition, I now have six marriage videos on my YouTube Channel, “Dr. Randall Schroeder.” Thank you!

 

3 Wonderful Marriage Vows

On Wednesdays I post a practical wisdom thought or suggestion on Marriage, Parenting, or Life. Recently, my wife and I attended the wedding of our friends’ daughter.  Both the bride and groom read beautiful personal vows to each other. While expressing their meaningful commitment before all in attendance, their tears indicated they truly believed what they shared.

Marital complacency is often what starts the slippery slope to unhappiness, and sadly, even divorce at times.  To overcome complacency and never take one’s spouse for granted, I think every couple would do well to communicate three additional vows at the wedding ceremony and even regularly throughout the marriage.

Share with your spouse these three vows:  1) Today, I will avoid complacency in every area of our marriage; 2) Today, I will not take you for granted; and 3) Today, I will be a girlfriend/boyfriend to you in order to help you feel valued just like before our wedding day.

Please follow me on Facebook and “Like” and “Share” when you read a post that is beneficial so others may receive the post.  If you enjoyed reading this post you may enjoy reading other posts found on the website, www.DrRandallSchroeder.com, under “PRACTICAL WISDOM for Marriage, Parenting, and Life.”

 In addition, I now have six marriage videos on my YouTube Channel, “Dr. Randall Schroeder.” Thank you!

 

Fam Jam Parenting Workshop

On Saturday, November 3 at 10:30 am, I am speaking on “Christian Leadership Parenting.”  The FamJam Parenting Workshop, www.hclc.info/famjam, will take place from 9:00am to 1:00pm at Holy Cross Lutheran Church, 8115 Oaklandon Road, Indianapolis, 46236, 317-823-5801. Fifteen speakers will gather to provide insights on parenting, finances, anxiety, sibling relationships, sleep issues, and even picky eaters. There is something for everyone!  This will be helpful for parents, grandparents, aunts & uncles, nannies & babysitters, and anyone who cares for children.

This is not just for Holy Cross families but for anyone in the entire Indianapolis area and surrounding communities.

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FamJam Parenting Workshop

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On Saturday, November 3 at 10:30 am, I am speaking on “Christian Leadership Parenting.”  The FamJam Parenting Workshop, www.hclc.info/famjam, will take place from 9:00am to 1:00pm at Holy Cross Lutheran Church, 8115 Oaklandon Road, Indianapolis, 46236, 317-823-5801. Fifteen speakers will gather to provide insights on parenting, finances, anxiety, sibling relationships, sleep issues, and even picky eaters. There is something for everyone!  This will be helpful for parents, grandparents, aunts & uncles, nannies & babysitters, and anyone who cares for children.

This is not just for Holy Cross families but for anyone in the entire Indianapolis area and surrounding communities.