Create A Positive Attitude Within Your Child

Every Wednesday I will post a practical wisdom thought or suggestion on marriage, parenting, or life. A Positive Attitude is an extremely important quality for everyone to possess, including children.  Daily life will have ups and downs because life is simply not fair.  If we expect life to be fair we may have a negative attitude and be somewhat miserable.

Creating a Positive Attitude within your child is a primary, essential goal.  As a parent, be a positive role model, encourage your child to give a good consistent effort in every area of life, and help your child identify two or three positives from their day.  Regarding the positives, ask your child to identify what happened that created those positives.

TODAY:  And every day, find the positives in your life as well as encourage your child to be optimistic, confident, and a good finder with people and situations. 

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Daily Say "I Love You"

Every Wednesday I will post a practical wisdom thought or suggestion on marriage, parenting, or life. The three word phrase, “I Love You” takes less than one second to speak.  Yet, it is one of the phrases that matters most in your marriage!  When those three words are spoken infrequently, meaning not daily, then a marital relationship often starts the slippery slide toward serious trouble.

Saying “I Love You” to your spouse on a daily basis is essential for lifelong happiness.  In addition, communicating that significant “I Love You” phrase is not a “one way street” BUT an expression that must be initiated by both of you every single day of your marriage.  Marriage is hard work and one simple reminder of your strong commitment is a daily initiation of an “I Love You.”

TODAY:  And every day, personally initiate a minimum of one time, those magical words “I LOVE YOU” to your spouse and make them feel especially valued and loved. 

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Don't Live In Denial

Every Wednesday I will post a practical wisdom thought or suggestion on marriage, parenting, or life. Denial originates from either a lack of awareness or confused thinking about what is healthy or not healthy.  Most of the time denial is due to not being able to identify the "unhealthy" rather than a will not attitude.  Thus, it is a "Can't" identify, not a "Won't" identify unhealthy thoughts or behaviors.  Unfortunately, before the truthful realities of unhealthy words and behaviors become apparent, it is often too late and the extreme damage has already been done.

No matter what the reason, not recognizing major personal issues, addictions, unhealthy life/marriage/parenting thoughts, eating disorders, etc. may create a miserable personal life as well as produce painful relationships. A spouse in denial over controlling behaviors, extreme selfishness, an uncompromising spirit, or an uncooperative attitude, makes for a difficult marriage.  Or a parent in denial with unhealthy parenting ideas can create a lifetime of struggles for a child in adulthood.

By continually living in denial regarding unhealthy individual behaviors, spousal issues, or an unhealthy parenting style, your personal life, marriage, or child may be severely hurt for years to come.  If you have dissatisfaction with your individual life or marriage or your child is struggling in some area of life, before it is too late, make sure that denial is not the main issue with a particular problem.

TODAY:  Recognize how you may play a part in a personal life problem or a relationship struggle due to denial.  Then, avoid the trap of denial and seek ways to overcome those destructive, thoughts, words, or actions. 

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Eat Meals At The Table

Every Wednesday I will post a practical wisdom thought or suggestion on marriage, parenting, or life. With every couple, child, parent, and/or family I counsel, I always ask about how mealtimes are handled by everyone.  Unfortunately, when a child, marriage, or family is struggling, I am often told that rarely are meals happening at the table.  Instead, individuals are eating in the bedroom, living room, or just standing at the counter in the kitchen.  Marriage or family meals at the table allow for positive conversation, excellent eye contact, and a strengthening of family ties.

I have found that a happy marriage is a major challenge when couples are not eating together.  In addition, one research study found that children learned a majority of their life and faith values during mealtime discussions at the table.  So if family members are not sitting together at the table for meals, there is often a disengaged family and a significant lost opportunity for discussing life and faith values with a child.

It makes no difference if only two family members are home or if you are only having sandwiches and chips, a major goal is to have meals at the table as often as possible.  Always avoid discussing any problems so your meals together will be positive times.  Turn off the TV, remove all technology gadgets, have light-hearted conversation, and perhaps share one or two positives from the day.

TODAY:  Begin having marriage/family meals at the table and enjoy making an eye-to-eye heart connection with your spouse or other family members.

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Enhance Your Marriage: Be An Initiator

Every Wednesday I will post a practical wisdom thought or suggestion on marriage, parenting, or life. Sadly, I have heard some form of this comment numerous times, "My spouse rarely initiates anything positive with me and that is extremely disappointing and hurtful."  When a spouse stops being an initiator of encouraging words and actions that usually leads to the disease of complacency and complacency is one major factor that creates marital unhappiness and sometimes eventual failure.

The Bible states, "Love your neighbor as yourself" and your closest "neighbor" is your spouse. Loving your spouse requires an initiation of a meaningful behavior or an encouraging comment.  Initiation is one major quality possessed by every healthy spouse so work very hard at being a wonderful daily initiator with both words and behaviors.

TODAY:  Be a healthy spouse and initiate a compliment or a hug or a kiss or a conversation or hold your spouse's hand or say "I love you" or say "Thank you" or suggest a date for next weekend.

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Be A Lifelong Learner

Every Wednesday I will post a practical wisdom thought or suggestion on life, marriage, or parenting.  Knowledge is one of the major keys for a successful life.  And one of the best ways for gaining knowledge is to be a lifelong learner.  Henry Ford said, “Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty.  Anyone who keeps learning stays young.”  I truly appreciate you following my Weekly Wednesday blog posts because my goal is to help you acquire knowledge about life, marriage, and parenting, and at the same time, staying young.

Personal growth and development happens through lifelong learning and lifelong learning leads to knowledge and knowledge increases life wisdom!  Thankfully, it is easier to gain knowledge today than at any other time in the history of the world.  We can expand our knowledge through books, audio-books, college classes, trade journals, podcasts, associating with wise people, and the internet, to just name a few.

 TODAY:  Choose to be a lifelong learner and take some time to gain just a little knowledge within one area of your life. 

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Seek Successful Models For Your Son and/or Daughter

Every Wednesday I will post a practical wisdom thought or suggestion on life, marriage, or parenting. All of us are imperfect and flawed, including your child, but it is important to have goals in mind for how you want to develop responsible, healthy thoughts, words and behaviors within your child.  The cliché’ is true, “We are what we think.”  Likewise, a child will become what a parent “thinks” or envisions a successful adult man or woman looks like.  Please visualize what you “think” your child will look like as an “ideal” man or woman at age twenty-five, thirty-five, forty-five, etc.

Next, write down the names of two men and two women you admire because of how they live their personal lives and enhance their marriage and family relationships.  Then, make a written list of the beliefs, virtues, moral values, positive habits, attitude, interests, and hobbies found in the men and women you admire. These men and women are the examples for what you desire within your child and provide a “template” for you as a parent.

TODAY:  Please aim for your child to be their own individual person but as a parent, keep the “model” of those men and women in your mind as you lead and guide your child into adulthood.  Please also use your written list to evaluate how you are influencing your child in all those positive aspects of life. 

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Have A Compassionate Heart For A Happy Marriage

Every Wednesday I will post a practical wisdom thought or suggestion on life, marriage, or parenting.  Happy marriages usually have two spouses with compassionate hearts.  Two compassionate spouses can usually heal a marriage because sympathy, empathy, understanding, and sensitive caring are at the core of their identity.  Compassion helps you look at one another through kind, patient, and merciful eyes.  The Bible points out the true character of Jesus, compassion, which led to His death and glorious resurrection.

Definitely, compassion is necessary when a spouse is suffering physically or emotionally.  Compassion is necessary when a mistake occurs and only a humble apology will heal your spouse’s broken heart.  Compassion is necessary when your spouse deeply disappoints you and only forgiveness can restore your relationship.  Compassion is necessary when your relationship is going through difficult times.  When an impasse arises, compassion is necessary to help you try to understand your spouse’s perspective.

TODAY:   Ask your spouse what you can “do” or “say” that would demonstrate compassion within your marriage relationship.

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Date Your Child Monthly

Every Wednesday I will post a practical wisdom thought or suggestion on life, marriage, or parenting. One of the best ways to influence your child’s heart is a monthly date at an ice cream store, donut shop, fast food outlet, or restaurant.  Children seem to share more thoughts and feelings while eating food and that can make a significant difference in your parent-child relationship.   Your parent-child date will hopefully be 30 minutes or more allowing you to make an eye-to-eye heart connection.

I suggest three guidelines for your date.  First, within your budget, let your child select the place to eat.  Second, from the time you leave your house until you return home, avoid three “Cs” – DON’T Correct, Complain, or Criticize your child anytime during the date.  Third, look into your child’s eyes, ask How and What questions, and let your child do the majority of the talking.

TODAY:  Sit down with your child and plan for a date during the month of October.  Then, remember to have a date each month until the time your child leaves home to be on their own. 

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We Only Have 24 Hours To Live!

Every Wednesday I will post a practical wisdom thought or suggestion on life, marriage, or parenting. Unfortunately, it is so easy for us to live today as if we have years ahead of us.  When we live for the future we not only discard today but we often create feelings of fear and anxiety.  On the other hand, we can waste today by living in the past and that usually leads to feelings of regret and guilt.

The Bible states, “This is the day that the Lord has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it” and it means Just For Today! Savor each moment throughout this day and gain more happiness by just living in the present.  Make Today a wonderful day, in fact, make It your best day ever!

TODAY:  Be agreeable, cooperative, and courteous to everyone you meet.  Today thank God for three blessings that recently happened in your life.  Today compliment or praise a minimum of two people. Today set a goal to be better in one area of your life.  Today tell close family members “I Love You.”

 Please be sure to “Like” and “Share” when you visit my professional Facebook page so others may receive the post.  If you enjoyed reading this post you may enjoy reading other posts found on the website, www.DrRandallSchroeder.com, under either “Categories” or “Archives.”  Thank you!